Mine was alright. I think I slept a lot.
I kept today’s sketch rather short since I did have some family over. My niece was watching me draw, so I drew that penguin, Pororo, which apparently is ridiculously popular in Korea right now.
I wanted to make a rant today, though. It’s after the break.
I originally started this blog because I really did want to become serious in taking steps to improving myself. However, I think I’ve lost sight of that. Lately, I was starting to stress over about things that I should draw next and worrying about if my sketch didn’t look good, etc. I forgot my original purpose and ended up drawing only things that I wanted to make me look good.
Back a few years ago, when drawing was more of a thing on the side for me, and I had less time to draw, my main goal was to only draw really perfect and polished drawings. I didn’t want to sketch because I only had so little time, so I only focused on doing what I knew would look good. From that, I developed my ethos of drawing, which is to give nothing more than one hundred percent effort into my drawings. Anything bad-looking would be unacceptable.
This got me fairly far with how I did art. People like my drawings and I felt comfortable in my ranges. Unfortunately, it became somewhat of a crutch, because I was increasingly becoming unwilling to do things outside of my skill set and to improve.
I was spiraling down in just general anger and irritation at myself for the last two weeks. I wanted to draw things beyond what I’ve been doing lately, but I need practice. However, I needed to be able to draw such things in the first place in order to practice. Some Catch-22.
I always felt like I was the weakest and most inflexible out of my peers and just really desperately wanted to catch up. It got to the point where I started getting angry at other people for no good reason other than because I thought their art was better than mine.
That’s the point of me starting to do these study sketches. I’ll still be drawing pretty girls with large breasts in skimpy clothing, and I’ll still continue to draw the things with focused effort. However, I will continue for as long as I can to mash out poses and and gestures in order to overcome my weaknesses in dynamic angles and complex compositions.
As my friend and co-worker put it, you need time to improve, but you also need time to maintain yourself.